The Proposal: My Side of the Story

by Louie

Writing my side of the proposal has been a disaster for me. In fact, long overdue na ang revision one ko ("you can do better than that no?" ang nareceive kong comment doon sa una). Kapag hindi pa ako nagsubmit e may mapapalo na pag-uwi this golden week. :(

Mas kumportable lang talaga siguro ako na ikwento ito ng personal. Almost all of my friends here in Yokohama knew the jist: I proposed on a pirate crew ship in Hakone, on our 7th anniversary and we are getting married on our 8th year on November 8 this year. Ganun lang kasimple, pero I would see in their faces light, hear the "astig/sweet/galing naman ninyong dalawa" remarks, and feel proud first hand. Enough na yun para pumalakpal ang tenga ko. :D

Writing about it? Sablay talaga. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. I'm just happy na natapos ko din at panalo si Pacquiao (Pacquiao-Bradley fight - April 13, JPN time).


ABOUT THE PHONE GRABBING INCIDENT

Nabasa ko na din yung proposal story ni Dheng. So proud! And jealous at the same time. Galing nyang magsulat e.

And I really didn't have a clue na upset siya nung inagaw ko yung phone ko sa kanya. And now that I think about it  kaduda-duda nga naman yun. To be honest takot naman talaga ko mabuking noon, but for a different reason.

Yes, I planned the proposal myself but I asked help from friends. Choosing the ring, setting up proposal scenarios, and I even had a spy photographer kung natuloy yung proposal plan A ko.

(I would like to thank Mark and Namu for helping me choose the ring, Gert for the ring size estimation, Jo for being my emergency photographer, and for my Ozie/BS/Sueyoshi family for all the love and support.)

Pero dahil hindi talaga fixed ang sched namin (also accounting for weather changes during our vacation), gumawa naman talaga ako ng mga contingency plans. At yung iba doon ay nakasave sa phone messages ko.

Takot lang ako na mabasa nya ang mga tips from my bubwits about my plans kaya I grabbed my phone away. And I know my hands are clean kaya madali ko naman naexplain kay Dheng after. +)

PLAN ABCDEF

"You'll hate his methods but you gotta love the results." - Gibbs on Dinozzio, NCIS

The proposal contingencies in a nutshell

- Ang proposal plan B ay dapat sa Disney. Kaso noong nag-aayos kami ng schedule at di ko sure kung may fireworks noon. We even planned to stay overnight on the Disney Hotel but it was out of the budget. Oh well.

- Proposal plan C: At Osanbashi. I planned to spend our time sightseeing at Minato Mirai tapos sa sunset ako magpo-propose by the bay. May kinuntsaba na din akong photographer. Just in case hindi kami makagala ng malayo.

- Proposal plan D: Tobu world. Kaso hindi naman kami natuloy doon.

- Proposal plan E: Sa tapat ng luma naming bahay sa Maita. Siguro kung nasa Pinas ako, malamang naisip ko din magpropose sa UP Bliss.

- Proposal plan F: Ilagay ang singsing sa laruang panda (favorite kasi ni Dheng ang panda). We went to Ueno Zoo pero hindi ko alam kung paano ko tatakas para bumili ng panda stuff toy. :(

I always had the ring in my bag tuwing lalabas kami. Baka kasi may mangyari at sa plan G ako matuloy e, yosh!

HOW I IMAGINED MY PROPOSAL WOULD BE:

Sea turtles, mate! :p


ACTUAL PROPOSAL FACTOIDS

What I really wanted was a simple and intimate proposal.

But since we were on a cruise ship, I decided to look for a secluded spot on the upper deck for us to have our moment away from prying eyes. At wala akong nakita doon. I weighed my options: una, lalayo kami sa front side kasi maraming nagpipicture. May isang pamilyang Pinoy pa na panay ang selfie doon kaya pasimpleng iwas ako. I don't want our proposal to be going on someone else's Facebook/Instagram page first, gusto ko sa amin na muna ang moment na iyon.

Luckily, yung pinuwestuhan namin ay konti lang ang tao, a few foreigners na gusto lang enjoy ang view. Walang camera, swerte.

When we were almost near the middle of the lake (Dheng was complaining about the cold and the wind and the cloud hiding Mt. Fuji), I proposed. Without kneeling and saying the proverbial "Will you marry me?" right away.

I never knelt for sole purpose of not catching everyone's attention. Baka kasi maglapitan yung may mga camera e. Mahirap na.

Then, I told her na "seryosohin na natin ito, Mi."

For all the years na long distance relationship kami, madalas ang hirit namin e matagal na kaming naglolokohan. Virtual and emotional support lang madalas ang nabibigay namin sa isa't isa. To some outsiders, our relationship may look like a joke.

And I want them all to know that it is certainly not.

What we have is REAL.

Our moment that time may seem simple but for me it really felt surreal. Iba talaga ang saya ng salitang "yes" nang mga sandaling iyon. Sobrang saya.

Then bigla akong kinabahan, 'sinong nakakita'?

As we turned around, we saw an old tourist couple (probably Canadian but I wasn't sure). They may have watched us the whole time, but instead of shouting or clapping to gather everyone's attention, they just whispered "congratulations" and gave us their sweetest of smiles. And with that I was very thankful. Wish granted.


Siguro after nyo mabasa ito e naconclude nyo na sablay talaga ako magkwento. Walang ayos, walang denoument, walang sense.

And the proposal was really planned on the fly. Dahil nabigyan si Dheng ng opportunity na pumunta dito e noon lang umikot ang gulong ng proposal plans ko.

But there was never a doubt. I knew she was the one. If parallel universes exist (kung saan isa sa mga proposal plans ko ang nangyari), I would still be equally happy.

Be equally overjoyed.

Back to engineering work,

Louie

The Proposal

By Dheng

We have been together for the past 7 years. Lagi ko syang niloloko, na I have this non-formal agreement with my childhood friend na kung by 30 e hindi pa kami nakakasal e kaming dalawa na lang ang magpapakasal. For the sake of not growing old alone.

Lagi na naman naming napag-uusapan about our future. Ano ang magandang bahay, ilan ang magiging anak, sino ang mag-aalaga sa future kids and alike. But nothing serious. We do not go into details - he never ask me kung saan ko gustong magpakasal. Never asked kung kailan ko gustong magpakasal. We joked around this wedding thing - always.

We are aware na he is second to the youngest in his family. Her oldest sister got married 2 years ago. He has 2 more sisters before him. And as a sign of respect, we wanted to give way to the older ones. Things happened in between. Kabado na ako na baka hindi ko matarget ang 8th anniversary namin as our wedding date. Malamang, mas kabado sya kasi in 3 years time (last year), I will turn 30.

We planned to celebrate our anniversary together. Kasi minsan lang kami magcelebrate together. In the span of 7 years, tatlong beses lang kami na magkasama sa anniversary. May sakit pa sya ng first anniversary namin. Good thing, he was extended in Japan for his work stint and we planned something more than ordinary for our 7th year. You know, the 7 year itch.

Fast forward, I was awarded a tourist visa to Japan and I found myself travelling alone to the land of the rising run. I was estatic, makikita ko na din ang lugar kung saan nagtatrabaho ang then-boyfriend ko. The vacation was on our anniversary week. We planned as tourist itinerary, we will visit the tourist places in Japan.

I felt na parang tunay na Hapon na si Louie. He really belonged to the crowd. Busy with things, mabilis maglakad. He was giving me instructions like I was a grade school student. Ahem, I survived a backpacking trip in 3 countries ano, I planned all the itineraries. Hahaha!

THAT FEELING

One day, he asked me to take care of his phone since he was busy with something. The curious cat in me came right at it. Of the 6 years of being together, I never read his inbox(es), neither he is to me. I never touched his phone, don't even know its security code, unless the message pops out while I am holding it and I hand it over to him as soon as I can.

So I found myself skimming in his phone inbox and reading selected texts. Two girls' names are always there. Kaya mas lalo akong naging interesado. So I read and read, until such time na napatingin si Louie sa akin and he grabbed his phone away from me. The nerve. That whole day (yes, I never told him this, dito nya lang mababasa), I was thinking - how could he! I mean, it was my first time to read his inbox messages. And then, he just grabbed it like that!

More, I was thinking, "Tarantado ito a. Siguro may tinatago itong ka-fling kaya kung makahila ng phone, wagas!" I never felt guilty, I felt betrayed and a little sad. He is keeping secrets from me. Moreso, it was a secret relationship with a girl. Not that I distrust him, baka una namang nakipaglandian ang girl and then, Louie, being a gentleman, offered his advices and friendship to her. Namisinterpret na ni girl. AND YES, THE WRITER IN ME. SUMAPI NA LANG BIGLA. I got made-up stories in my mind.

On our third day, we were in Disneyland and we just finished the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. He knows I am a big fan (ahem, Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp in one movie, makalaglag panty!) so he ushered me to the Pirates store. I was busy with all the pirates stuff and I picked up a mini treasure chest. I told him, it looks nice and I returned it to the shelf. I looked around more and then, nakita ko syang nagbabayad na sa counter. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, ano kaya ang binili nito. We are joking on the pirate's hat that I saw around and baka binili nya. But when I looked at him, sinabi nya, "Ayun mi o, tingnan mo yung hat na yun". Aba, may tinatago. Pinagtatabuyan nya ako the second time around.

Hindi obvious na may slight tampo na ako kay Louie dito.
Nawala lahat dahil sa Pirate's hat na ito. 

THE DAY

I was still thinking about the phone grabbing incident two days after and the play-on-my-attention scene sa Disneyland. We were celebrating our anniversary then. I never told him I was bothered. Nor, acted like I am. We were still on track sa itinerary namin and our trip for the day is Hakone and Mt. Fuji viewing.

I am very afraid of heights. But we need to ride a cable car to get to Owakudani valley and to the viewing site of Mt. Fuji. I was holding to my dear life then, habang sya, tuwang-tuwa how tortured I look like.

Torture at the cable car ride. 

As the final part of the trip, we need to cross the lake to the other side and we can see Mt. Fuji from there. It was a pirate ship, so nawala lahat ng duda ko sa katawan. Hello, pirates of the Caribbean sa Disney and now, I'll be riding a pirate ship? Cool beans!

Haggard na. May sakit pa ako nyan. Cough and colds.
Pero nung nakita ko yung pirate ship, "Ahoy, mate!"

He grabbed me, guided me to the top of the ship na standing lang. It was cold that day, around 6 degrees I think.

And in the middle of the trip, he asked, "Totohanin na natin ito, 'Mi."

I was about to slap him jokingly na "Gago ka no? Hindi pa pala totoo itong pinaggagawa natin".

He held my hand and put the mini treasure chest on my palm. I was happy, ito pala yung tinago nya sa akin. Kaya pala kung maka-distract sya sa attention ko.

I was about to put it in my jacket's pocket when he said, "Huwag mong itago. May ilalagay ka dyan". I was expecting a bracelet or something else. He gave me a watch a year ago.

He grabbed in his pocket, and said, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" and slipped the ring at my finger. I said yes instantly, baka maunang tumulo ang luha ko e.

And other tourists, who are near us, had their biggest smile and whispered, "congratulations".

I turned my back at him and it was the greatest feeling ever. He hugged me from behind and while I was very much holding back my tears, mahirap umiyak ng malamig. Little ice droplets, frozen teardrops lang ang peg. I asked him, "Are you serious? Paano ang mga ate? Alam ba nila ito?"

Still aboard the pirate ship after popping the question.
Me and my fiance's first ever pic. 

We docked at the other side of the lake, and grabbed lunch and we talked about how he planned it. I think, I am giving him the opportunity to write about it. :)

Imagine, being engaged in a pirate ship. All the hesitations from the phone inbox, its all gone.

My ring - inside its original box and its new pirate chest home. 

He tortured me first by grabbing his phone from me, distracted me from the treasure box purchase, tortured me even more on the cable ride before proposing. I really found my man.

Our second pic, after we landed in true land. :D

I am happy and I know it. 

My Side of the Story - Holding Her Hand

Nasa tambayan kami, magkatabing nagsusulat. Tipikal naman ako na magulo kapag tumatabay dati, kinukulit kung sino man  ang mapagtripan, dadaldalin at hihiritan kung sino man ang makasama.

And I held her hand. For no reason at all.

Hindi ko na din  maalala kung ano ba ang pinag-uusapan namin noon. Basta pagkatapos ng usapan e hinawakan ko lang basta ang kamay nya at tumahimik na kami pareho. Di ko na din maalala kung paano kami nagbitiw. And it was never awkward (mala-Empoy sa "Bride for Rent"), walang spark, walang kahit na ano.

But the fact that she let me do it without any reaction may have left an impression to me. Siguro dahil kaya nyang sakyan yung simpleng kalokohan ko e pwede. Ayos na. Pero, huwag na lang. Hindi pwede. Saka na lang. At sa dami ng personal kong dahilan against being in a relationship that time, e natapos na lang yung moment na yun na walang kakulay kulay. Tuloy ang buhay isko kumbaga.

And soon, I will be holding her hand again. And this time, I will be doing it for all the right reasons.

From the winter wonderland,

Louie

For the Long Run

"For the long run" sung by the Company and the title of their album.

My eldest sister borrowed a cassette tape of the album and we played it often back then. Nung una ko pa lang narinig ang kanta, (elementary pa ata ako nun), I knew I had a theme song for me and my future wife.

I hope you enjoy this as much as I always do.


Happily singing along,

Louie +)

My Side of our Love Story - How we began

Our story began 7 years and 2 months ago (as of writing) - to be exact. We can be called as college sweethearts, but we are not the ordinary ones. I never thought that I would find somebody like him nor I would think that we would be together.

Back in college, Louie was the "life-of-the-party", whether our orgmates like it or not. He would crack jokes that everyone dislike. Some would laugh, others - like me - would simply brush it off and move on. He was also the go-to-buddy by our org band, he was the org band leader after all.

2005. I was a new member of the org that time. Louie was the head of the band and he wanted every new member to participate in one of the org events. He asked us - with one of my batchmates - to play for the band. He was the guitarist, I played the bongos (may konti naman akong alam na percussion). That is our first interaction (aside from the jokes) ever. And our first song - Torete.

2006. I was having my personal ups-and-downs and my organization was my go-to place. We never had that deep conversations, Louie was the joker and I would personally do not take him seriously. Sometime in August, while everyone in our org was busy with our anniversary month, we were at our tambayan and suddenly he held my hand - nang walang dahilan. Since I don't take it personally, madalas naman, close talaga ako sa mga lalaki and nasanay na ako sa touchy-touchy gestures ng orgmates namin, so I brushed it off. Minsan pa yang nakitulog sa boarding house namin, just like some of our friends, so wala lang sa akin. 

Few months after, October 2006, we started to text over the sembreak. Walang magawa at uso pa noon ang textmates. By the end of the month, we started to ask each other kung kumain na ba, ano nang ginagawa. It was an ordinary sembreak, wala namang malisya para sa akin ang texts namin. Honestly, I don't remember if he asked kung kami na ba, all I remember is I gambled for it.

November 2006. I was transferring to another college unit then, so I have to undergo with the application process. I gambled with him, if I passed, then we will officially be a couple. Results came in on November 5th, I am in a new college, new life and by the end of the day, I got myself a boyfriend! But our official anniversary was November 8th, without no reason, wala lang - it felt like 8 is a lucky number and it symbolizes infinity.

We never told anyone, just non-verbal cues when we are together in our tambayan. Hi and hello, we never leave the tambayan together not arrive together. We are still textmates, mas madalas nga lang syang sumama na sa boarding house namin. But since malakas makiramdam ang orgmates namin, we confirmed our relationship a week after. Marami ang nagtatanong sa akin, "bakit?", and hanggang ngayon, as engaged couple,  dumami pa ata  nagtanong sa akin kung bakit ako pumayag. :)

7 years after, 5 years of which is on long distance relationship, here we are, getting married this year. It was not an easy relationship - we have spent 3 anniversaries together, our first anniversary na may sakit pa sya, the second one was in 2012 just when he did a short vacation for his sister's wedding and last when we got engaged in 2013. Monthsaries passed just like an ordinary day, except those were the special days that I can buy myself a cake to celebrate.

I believe, we are not the ordinary couple - walang ligawan, walang matinong anniversary. It was good though, it always feel like nasa ligawan stage pa din kami every day. I knew him by staying with him, walang superficial na ginagawa, as he is normally.  It was never easy and it never will, and for sure, our lives are beyond ordinary.

And up until now, he never answered why did he ever hold my hand seven years back.


Still asking myself how and why,

Deng